Nanci Schmidt-Behseresht is now a mom of three boys, a wife, a writer, and a fellow etsian artist. I decided to interview a few weeks ago and she is graciously going to sponsor this week's giveaway with an item from her shop: Maria Rogue
http://www.etsy.com/shop/mariarogue. She sells jewelry and accessories. She has goals of the shop becoming more of a haberdashery for girls only as it continues to grow. I hope she inspires you...especially you moms, as much as she has inspired me in the past. Info on the giveaway is at the end of the interview.
Many moms and especially stay at home moms tend to lose who they really are. When the kids finally move out of the house they are left wondering..."what do I do now? Who am I?" They become everything to everyone else, and lose themselves. How do you manage to not "lose yourself" so to speak? Or do you feel that this is a battle you are losing at?
"I did lose myself in the past… In a period of less than twelve hours, I became both a mother and a wife and my life was forever changed. Physically, I wasn’t the old me anymore, and so mentally, I couldn’t be the old me anymore. It took me years to snap out of it. In my mind, I knew that I wanted to still be independent, but I didn’t want to be selfish and put my needs and wants first. I ultimately paid a steep price for it. Now, I’m learning balance. There is enough time in the day for the kids, the husband, and myself… I just have to make the time. The kids will always be my number one priority and my husband will always follow closely behind. The housework can wait if I want to paint my nails. The dishes can sit in the sink for a few more hours if I feel like writing instead. Even the boys can entertain themselves for a couple of hours if I’m in the mood to make jewelry." I couldn't have said it better myself. Let the dishes sit LADIES!!!
Being a mom of three boys, what do you do to stay calm??? I'm sure it can be chaos sometimes.
"Chaos indeed! When the boys are home, the house is never quiet. I’ve gotten to the point where I can tune out most of the noise, unless there is fighting and screaming going on and I have to intervene. Staying calm is a huge challenge for me. It’s funny, because I can stay extremely calm in a moment of crisis, and be efficient and productive, but I find it much harder to stay calm when the boys are acting up. But after they go to bed, I unwind by doing something I want to do, or having a glass of wine or two."
Growing up I know you started an underground magazine, which I still have copies of, and we used to write "books". What have you done with all that writing talent as an adult?
"I can’t believe you kept copies of the ‘magazine’. That’s too funny! I actually didn’t write anything for a long time… I was too wrapped up in my own shit to actually realize that writing could be my outlet. I let everything that I felt was wrong with my life consume me for way too long. I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted, or where I was going. Instead of jotting my feelings and fears down in a journal, I let about fifteen years of my life slip by me in a blur. The only thing that saved me from myself were my three boys. In the last couple of years, however, I’ve begun writing again and it has definitely become the outlet I needed and I can only see it improving from here on out." I am so glad you did. You have to much talent to hide it away.
As a writer, do you feel you have an obligation to "educate" your audience on certain topics or do you do it more free form...whatever is on your mind?
What inspires you?
"Life inspires me, movies, books, cultures, subcultures, music, nature, emotions, people, virtues, time, words, thoughts, etc."
I know you and I used to love all the old 80s music, the Smiths, the Cure, Echo and the Bunnymen, do you feel music inspires you and if so in what way?
"Definitely. Music is very cathartic to me. A lot of times I write while I’m listening to music. Or even a simple lyric can inspire a thought and I’ll write about it. It always amazes me how someone else can put something into words, it can penetrate the very core of you, and have you thinking that it couldn’t have been said any better than that." That is exactly why I like writing music. I find that many times I am not writing for myself...but for someone else. I think at least half of my album I recorded a few years ago were about other's experiences and growth.
If you were a car what would you be and why?
"A VW Bug. An older one, like from the early sixties. Even though they are notorious for breaking down and catching fire, they can be repaired in a pinch with a bobby pin and duct tape. They are timeless. People still buy them, restore them, and show them off. You can hear one coming down the street and there is no mistaking it for another car in appearance. It’s the only car that can pull of having a flower vase on the dash." HAHA that is so funny!!! That is all I drove until I had kids. I had a 74 red bug I crashed, a beautiful 66 mint green bug that I just sold, and a red 2004 bug that I miss so much. I am still trying to talk my husband into letting me buy one now that the kids are big enough to climb into their own car seats.
What is in the future for you? A novel? A magazine?
*"I am currently working on my first novel. I find it really hard to work on it when my life is revolving around my boys, so I can’t work on it as much as I’d like to without neglecting them. Even writing an article, or on my blog, can be quite a challenge when I’m constantly interrupted with requests for snacks or help with homework. I do what I can and don’t stress too much about it." I can't wait to read it! Maybe you can share a chapter with us here??? Create a buzz??? Until then, you can read Nanci's articles at http://www.examiner.com/la-in-los-angeles/nanci-behseresht or on her blog http://sourcandysisters.blogspot.com/ And HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FRIEND!!!
The giveaway is for a necklace in her shop called the Romantic Necklace. So pretty. Pictures don't do it justice! If you win, she will send it to you FOR FREE!!!. Here is how you can win....go to her shop on Etsy http://www.etsy.com/shop/mariarogue and have a look around. If you are the first to answer this question...you will win....many people in the past asked Nanci why she did not sell her creations. What was her reply? Find the answer somewhere in her shop. The first follower of my blog to answer and post the correct answer here in the comments, WINS!!!!!